W+G

Will&Grace with Lauren and Kimberly=hilarious

Not so bad afterall?

I guess my playing wasn't completely terrible at the competition on Monday. Dave told me that they considered four cellists to be "in the finals" and I was one of them! I'm glad that some of my preparation (or something) showed through the mess! Next Project: Summer Festival Auditions and perfecting audition rep while finishing up recital rep and starting Beethoven Triple and learning Plylar's quartet...should be interesting!!!

Look to L.A.

Rock stars, star architects, Finnish diffidence and intellectual experimentation: Can other cities learn from this strange amalgam? Maybe other cities should study our friends in the West...

Brokeback revisited

I'm not really sure what it is about Brokeback Mountain that makes it such an amazing movie. Its really a simple story that is beautifully told. Every tiny nuance is there to make it a spectacular movie. It was interesting to watch it after only one day of Western class...I love how Jack is always wearing a black hat and Ennis is always wearing a white one...is this to imply that Jack is the "bad guy" in some way? I love how the camera always seems to know what to focus on and always manages to do it with such beauty and grandeur. I love how Roberta Maxwell (as Jack's mom) manages to convey so much even though she utters about three lines. I love how Michelle Williams lays low for most of the movie and then suddenly explodes to steal the scene (and the movie!). But most of all I love Anne Hathaway and her final monologue on the phone to Ennis with the small emotional gulps so perfectly executed...the best performance in the movie. See it now...It won the globe...it will win the Oscar...movie of the year.

First day of classes

Thank you for the comments everybody...they did make me feel better...guess I'm not so bent out of shape about it as I previously thought. First day of classes went smoothly. Western Cinema class was not spectacular, but has the potential to be interesting. Unfortunately the professor said work would be heavy for the first half of the semester and then trail off so people have time for juries...however, auditions are all during the first part of the semester and I don't have a jury to worry about...oh well. Rhythm blues and beyond was intriguing although some of the opinions expressed need some thought...I'm all about learning about African music, but it most likely wont be that important to me and my career as a musician. But I guess we will see about that. And I officially got an audition at Juilliard. There may be NYC in my future!

Failure

This of course does not refer to the fact that I didn't win the competition. I had no desire to win the competition. I set the simple goal for myself about two days ago to just be happy with how I played. I had been sounding so good over the past 2-3 days...and I don't mean just on this piece. I mean that I feel like I had really improved my cello playing overall...my tension was at a minimum and I was able to express things that I wanted to. As little as 10 minutes before I played I was feeling really really good about myself. This was HUGE for me. I have not felt good about anything I have played for at least a year...and I felt REALLY good about what I was doing. However...none of this happened when I played tonight. I was tighter than ever...I missed shifts...I played things out of tune...I was un-musical. I wanted to leave about 5 mins into my playing because I was so embarrassed. I had no business being there. I made a fool of myself...which was the one thing I was sure I wouldn't do. I think this was the single most crushing thing that has happened to me. I was so confident going into this competition. I was confident that I would be happy with how I played. But I failed. And there is nothing I can do now. I did what I could...and it wasn't good enough. So what should I do now? After this competition I am less confident than I ever have been. How am I going to get into any grad schools? What the hell am I supposed to do? Everything is telling me that I should just stop now...that I don't have it in me...but I don't want to. {sob}

Good Vibes

Tommorow is the big day. Wish me luck! Things went pretty well today...need to take care of some items tomorrow. Dave said he was proud of me. That was nice of him!

Upcoming Competition

Yesterday was spent practicing and shopping with friends. Food was bought (and consumed) alcohol was bought (but not yet consumed) a tablecloth was bought (and also isn't consumed...which is a good thing). The apartment is clean...I hope it stays this way for at least a week. That would be nice. The good news: I won't make a fool of myself in the competition tomorrow. I played through the whole concerto (not a run-through) and it sounded half-way decent...not a winning product though. It will be interesting to see who wins in the end...there are a lot of people who are well qualified to win this thing...too bad they can't pick different people for different movements (although that would makes sense since the second half of the program is one movement from each symphony that Franz Schmidt composed...whatever). Small get-together at Matt's apartment...was fun. Today: practice...more practice...lesson with Dave

Too Much to Do

I am now back in Rochester, but this list of things to do is so huge I am nervous already. First of all: the Dvorak competition is on Monday...crazy...it doesn't help that I haven't really practiced enough, but as I commented a few days ago, I don't think its really my thing: so I'll try my best and whatever happens, happens. Looming not to far in the distance are grad school auditions: I will be traveling far and wide to Boston, Houston, Rochester, and the amazing NYC for many auditions during the months of February and March. My senior recital is sneaking up too, that happens at the end of March (or possibly mid-February) I also need to learn the Beethoven Triple Concerto which will be performed with the Greece Symphony in April and tons of stuff for Ricardo Zohn-Muldoon's composition recital on the same day as my senior recital...not to mention learning three pretty difficult pieces with CCE and possibly recording for competitions... This is not supposed to be a complaint entry...its more just sorting everything out for myself...sound like it should be a busy and fun semester...and I can't believe its all almost over. We have to have fun this semester ok?!?!? I miss everybody already!

The Berghoff

Last night me and my dad went to the Berghoff restaurant in downtown Chicago. Supposedly I had been there before when I was a wee little one, but I didn't remember it at all. The Berghoff will be closing in February (I think) so there has been a mad rush to go there before it closes...we had to wait 25 mins in a line before we could get a table, and it was only about 4:30. The Berghoff is a Chicago landmark...it has been open since something like 1893...and is finally closing...thats a pretty good run. They feature German food...I had sauerbraten with a root beer float for dessert (they make their own root beer!). It was fun and the food was good...too bad its closing! Tomorrow is Part 2 of the BT (the big trip for those of you who don't speak abbreviation...I guess that could also stand for something such as beautiful tarp...or bouncy tree) I'm sure we will have tons of fun and we will most definitely be spending at least 72% of the time listening to the producers soundtrack. Finished season 3 of Will&Grace last night...hilarious as always. I feel like I could have applied myself and finished the 4th season during break as well...but that is a lot of work.

Houston Rehash

Had my lesson with Norman Fischer this morning. I don't think it went very well. In the past when I played for him he has been very enthusiastic and excited, today he was very take it or leave it. It also doesn't help that I didn't play well. Bach and Dvorak were very very tight. He told me to think about what the main thing was in each piece and concentrate on that...we made the Bach sound much more improvised and light and fluffy...I didn't really like how it sounded, but it was much easier to play. On Dvorak we worked on building more space into everything without actually putting anymore space into anything: basically he made me realize that I have more time to do everything...he told me to concentrate on sound...it made things easier to play and I thought it sounded better. Rochberg went really well and he said that it sounded good and I had a very big and open sound (so at least he knows that I can make that type of sound!). He charged me $120 for the lesson...I wasn't really expecting that. Not a good sign in my mind. Regardless of the lesson...I wasn't very impressed with Rice for some reason. I always knew they had an amazing orchestra, but what I didn't know was that their lives revolved around the orchestra. According to one source: how you do at Rice really depends on how you play for the orchestra conductor -and- The orchestra conductor is by far the most powerful man at Rice....Apparently he is some sort of genius. This would all be fine, but I have no interest in investing almost all of my time to orchestra. I'm sure I would learn some very important things...but I feel like I've already spent so much of my time playing in orchestra and its not a very rewarding experience. Sometimes its really fun (French Concert anyone?) and sometimes the music is really fun, but most of the time its a drag. PS> Mr. Fischer commented that he thought I was much more at home with contemporary music. The music building at Rice is completely white and completely spotless...the walls have not one item of anything on them. It's really kind of scary. In front of the music school is a large grassy field full of dead grass and trees that are struggling to stay alive...it wasn't very attractive. The campus kind of scared me, but that is most likely the fact I am so used to being at Eastman where there is no campus. I hate to say it, but it seems like going back to Eastman is becoming more of a possibility in my mind. I don't particularly want to go back there, but for the things I am looking for, it seems to have much more of them than any other school. You can have a good teacher basically anywhere, but at Eastman I would be able to play in lots and lots of contemporary music things...this doesn't really happen at Rice (or NEC for that matter) I guess Juillard has some and I have no idea about Mannes...at least they are both in a city that has lots of contemporary music. Rice was one of my top choices, but after this trip I can't really see myself going there...I would however go with CCE...but that is a completely different situation and it has such a small chance of happening that I know I shouldn't count on it. But hey...that's why you go to these places right? And I listened to the producers soundtrack a lot on the way home and discovered a new line to obsess over: "He's having a stroke...of genius!!!!!" Guess you have to hear it...enjoy the Houston pics.

Houston: Day 1

Woke up at 3:15 to get to the airport. Arrived in Houston around 8:45am. Went to practice around 10:30am at Rice. Took a walk and a nap and practiced more (I think N. Fischer caught me sleeping on a couch in the music school) To dinner with Andrew and Diana Owens. Bit of reading. Back here for sleep. More thoughts tomorrow after the lesson.

Surprise!!

I opened my blog today to find that Rabsteen had switched the template!! This is very exciting indeed...I futzed a bit with the order of stuff in the sidebar, but I am really the opposite of genius awhen it comes to this stuff. Maybe he will teach me someday. I never would have picked the flower thing...but its really fun, and I'll keep it! Maybe some day when I have (and can use) photoshop I will be able to design my own OhMyTrill image and figure out how to put it at the top!!! I leave for Houston tomorrow...my flight is at 6am, which means I have to check in by 4:30, which means I have to leave the house by 4, which means I have to wake up at 3:30am...omg. Andrew said he would pick me up, even though it is sooo early...what a nice guy! I called him today, and he was actually here in Chicago...how funny. Don't really know what I'm going to do with myself for two days in Houston, maybe Andrew will have some suggestions...I know tomorrow that I need to practice! Dvorak Competition in nine days...yikes!

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We Remember

Saw most of Fargo on TV with my parents. This movie is so amazing. I can think of very few movies that got everything as right as Fargo...perfect casting, perfect music, perfect camera work, perfect writing...no loose ends, no confusing plot twists...Absolutely astounding levels of acting (Frances McDormand creates one of the most lovable and fully realized characters in her very limited screen time that has ever been shot in a film). If you haven't seen Fargo so haven't lived. The bulk of my day was spent with friends and family (and many people I had never seen or met before, at least to my knowledge...and even one who reads this blog!!!) at the memorial service for my grandfather (inventor of powder cakes mix and powder cheese...translation: cheetos and Kraft Mac+Cheese). I had the usual responsibility of setting up all of the music...big surprise. Heather came down from Wisconsin and Julie drove up from some western location (I think) and we rocked out on gig music including an arrangement that I did of some Berlioz thing (my uncle picked it out!!). I thought the service was really nice, and I actually managed to play The Swan in tune, so in my book everything was a success. Lunch and my grandmothers new place...everybody thought it was really nice although I'm sure she will still say that its like living in a hotel (but who wouldn't want to do that?) Heather is rapidly becoming a regular fixture in Gerstein/Noznick family gatherings...she even took part in a tour of my grandmother's apartment. My grandmother starting taking her around explaining the significance of everything that she had hanging everywhere...I think the two of them really hit it off. My mom is already signing Heather up to play at the scattering of my grandfather's ashes over the summer (depending on whether or not I get into TMC I guess...no pressure, right?) preparations for lesson with N. Fischer are happening tomorrow...translation: TIME TO PRACTICE TONS SO I DON"T MAKE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF IN TEXAS...

Produce

Just saw the producers with Heather...I have to say it was fun. It was so nice to see two actors who are actually able to sing and dance...Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane are such an amazing comic pair, I wish I could have seen this show on Broadway...I however do not live in NYC and don't really have much money, so the movie is the best I can do right now. The music is a bit on the unoriginal side, but who cares...its fun. Almost every song comes very close to breaking into a song from another show, but I guess that's kind of what makes it fun. So many cute and over the top characters...wish Uma could sing a little better though...but her costumes were amazing! Dvorak competition is in a little over a week. I am not ready at all for this at all and have basically resigned myself to having no chance at winning, not that there was ever much of one. But I was thinking that I'm not sure if I would really want to do something like that...I soloed with my High School orchestra once, and it really wasn't the highlight of my life...I don't think that doing Dvorak Concerto is really 'my thing,' but whatever...I'll try to play my best and what happens happens, but if I did manage to win somehow, I would be so freakin nervous. I need a haircut really badly. [insert family drama here] Oh! And Rabsteen is now my bitch since he soooooooo generously volunteered to help make a new template for me. Now all I have to do is do some template research and we he can start work on the template!! Yay!!! Any suggestions for what YOU want to see on ohmytrill?

The New Mean Girls?

Or should I say the old Mean Girls...since Bring It On precedes Mean Girls by several years. I have to admit, this movie really surprised me (and I'm sure Heather's mouth will hit the floor). I have kind of been into this "teen girl ditz-fest" movies lately...I guess there are tons of them, but some of the better ones separate themselves from the crowd...and one of the best is Bring It On. I can't say why, but I was just really into it...and throw in hugely choreographed cheer sequences and I'm sold. And Kirsten Dunst (who I have always liked) is fabulous. See it (although most of you have seen it already I'm sure) I'm putting it at the top of the must-buy list.

What Gives?

So, what is it with all of these TV shows that have tons of characters living completely fabulous lives in NYC? Does everybody in NYC have easy jobs that make them tons of money? I know I would like to live in NYC and go out to eat for every meal...however, If I lived there, I would never be able to go out because of the lack of money. I mean, take Kramer from Seinfeld as an example. He lives on the upper west side (I think) and doesn't even work and somehow manages to go on all of his escapades AND own a car (but mostly takes taxis...hmmm). If this is what it's like to live in New York, I'm moving there tomorrow. I will, however, keep watching my 'friends' living it up in the big city... Saw "Trick" tonight...not one of the most amazing contributions to gay cinema, but it is adequate. Its such a horrible genre of film, at least the movies that get made. Maybe now it will snap into shape that Brokeback Mountain has been made...all others pale in comparison. PS> I got audioscorobbler goes iPod to work finally...if anybody cares...that means that all of the music I listen will get updated in the Spy On Music link at the right...so spy all you want.

1. This post is not a list

Welcome back to the world of normal entries. Although I must admit, it is much easier to just write a list...anyway...I get my cello back tomorrow from the shop. This will be just in time to record the Popper Duo with Lauren...I also just realized that I forgot to check out the Kummer parts from the library...I hope Lauren remembered to. Finished Tanglewood app and scheduled an audition for Youth Orchestra of the Americas...guess I won't be doing anything "cool" this summer...Lucerne and Bang on a Can can wait, right? Until I have money and time to learn crazy contemporary repertoire? And Jack+Cher=hilarious. PS> Me and Lauren are having a Will&Grace party when we get back to Rochester.

Six Things

1. Blue cosmos and pink champagne with Jonathan and Alison=fun new years 2. Somebody called me today to tell me that they are obsessed with my blog and they have a fear of me posting about them. Names will not be mentioned. 3. I now own the Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack...you have to love a soundtrack that consists of basically two notes...and the whole thing is only 12 minutes of music...hmm... 4. Clueless is really funny...how did I miss this movie? Add it to the ditz-fest: Mean Girls/Heathers/Clueless/Bring It On. 5. I like Target. 6. Link to the site I stole this idea from. Sorry.

Happy New Year

1. Happy New Year!!!!!! 2. Saw Brokeback Mountain and I can't even begin to explain the amazingness...you MUST MUST MUST see this movie because your life will be incomplete without it. It's probably the closest I've ever come to crying at a movie, and on a repeat viewing, I'm almost sure I would. I almost am now. The movie was a very slow two hours, but I could have easily watched five more hours of it...I would be happy if I was still in the theater watching it. Its that good. See it. Now. 3. Celebrated new years with Alison and Jonathan (and a bit with Ruth and Rachael) and a phone call from Kimberyee!!! And who can forget the Madonna Dance Party (minus the dancing). 4. Could this be the new form for leaving entries...what do you think? 5. More later. 6. Eastman students gossip waaaaaay too much. 7. Oh well...its fun.